PORTRAIT OF CHANGE 2013

 

We perceive permanence in impermanence.

 

The seemingly completed and fixed pictures in the world we see are in their endless transition. Everything is continually in a process of change from one state to the next state, although it may not be graspable for our senses to recognize every moment of a single change.

 

Seeing a person, I primarily see two spaces of individual identity merged together; the entire picture that forms external physical identity, and the metaphysical phenomena, as feeling, thought, perception, factors that form, the internal identity or “My Self“. Both the internal and external identity give it on one side the visible and tactile, and on the contrary the invisible and abstract. Painting portraits is like bringing various biographies and differences of “My Self“ to visibility. Besides a portrait that represents “My Self“, it is interesting to question how a portrait can present changes, the hidden continuous transformation or “No Self“. How can the artist portray this possibility of “No Self” that lies at the ground of a person, underneath his/her representational identities?

 

We commonly assume that cluster of mind experiences, for example, memories, impressions, feelings and emotions are authentic and are independent happenings. Having assumed that these metaphysical matters are permanent, we then identified oneself as “My Self”. The Buddha suggests that the individual is compounded of five factors; Form, Feeling, Perception, Mental formation, and Consciousness. They are continuously happening and fading away endlessly; they are constantly changing. There are no permanent or unchanging metaphysical matters. 

 

‘Body is not self, feelings are not self, perception is not self, mental constructs are not self and consciousness is not self…When one sees this one becomes detached from these things, being detached the passions fade, when the passions have faded one is free, and being free one knows one is free’ (Samyutta Nikaya 3. 66).

 

To reflect the possibility of “Identity and No Self” in the subject of painting, the question lies between; palpability and impalpability, outer and inner space, materiality and immateriality, affirmation and negation of form. Painterly quality brings momentary openness and contour brings momentary insistence of mind to a physical form. It is the stage of letting go and the will of “wanting to be” that happen to form a tangible body. While painting, I see continuous change of mind and substantial body reflects in the portrait, and how these reflections speak to the surrounded space, atmosphere, and landscape in the painting. When the openness and closeness move in rhythm, the picture begins to breathe. And to me, it could be the breath that brings a sensitivity of the “impermanence”, the ongoing willing and letting go, to be experienced in a motionless picture.